Haul stroll

People in the twilit lane two shares a shadow

shares shiny black and evening sky, light and half light

your pace I can´t move without

doves looks heart –shaped when day brakes

without you they pass

green wall where you held me to I split

from gashes 20 summer nights are oozing out

up to evening

our raw hearts slaps together and it sticks to them

dirt left needles candy wrappers mud

meat´s too hard to clean

but be stacked neatly

wrapped by apron – clad

clean seller, beautiful customer

gorgeous comb made from fishbone


But my senses are shut, eyelids fall and all my places are new


mSLb Trondheim september 26 2017


Botanical garden surprise


so sweet you play

you play on a higher note

velvet black coal piece trousers

so dark green

my nosetip at your belly

thin cotton shirt

the strings under the upturned board

flipped the flat world

turned up the other side


mSLb botanical garden, Ringve museum july 2017



Princess Mononoke art by Lancing Chen: Lancingloveprints

Thinking about a feminine man

I once said I think I am a gay transsexual man in a womans body. I don´t think no more about that, or that is what we would become, the two of us combined. I loved you but you need to be loved as a woman, so is it possible for a heterosexual woman to talk to your inner girl, so that you can feel thouroghly loved, not only for your manly side, or do a transsexual man, a male lesbian, need to be together with a female lesbian to have his whole person loved, if that is at all possible for anyone? When I watched your interview I thought that your femininity made you even more attractive but you had to be a man for me to desire you in the first place. And at first I assumed he was gay, HELLO, how can you assume he is gay, (Btw: Being gay is not a problem here in the sivilized world) haven´t you noticed how much more he radiates when he is adresses by that woman in the audience, irrationally, I feel flattered by these selective charm – waves, even if they do not actually hit me more than I hit on you, moreover, I used that considerable radiation as a fuel that got me through my exams in mathematics! Alive!

Watch man and interview in question:

Talks at google/ Eddie Izzard


And more:

Eddie Izzard – Sexy tunes




PK (Jarukmar Hirani 2014)

Hey uncle! UNCLE! Are you man enough?

PK is the highest-grossing Indian film of all time, and ranks as the 70th highest grossing film of 2014 worldwide.

For a westerner (me?) this film is not only exotic for the usual reasons: Its excessive length (2h 33min), the intermission, and the musical numbers that with regular intervals endeavours to soften up us viewers to its subject with dancing and unrestrained gaiety: It comprises a voice that is surprisingly feminine, compared to western blockbusters that are not outspokenly chick flicks. PK is India’s greatest blockbuster movie of all time, and at the same time a complete sellout to the female (or male gay/ overly romantic) audience. An unfamiliar combination that we seldom encounter in western cinema. Let me mention Gone With the Wind (Victor FlemingGeorge Cukor 1939), Titanic (James Cameron 1997), Shrek (Andrew AdamsonVicky Jenson 2001) and Fantasy Movies (Peter Jackson *love*) in general as exceptions but don´t come dragging with 300 (Zack Snyder 2006) with all its drawn –out action sequences: In PK you get all the naked men but no swords or entertaining violence. The hordes pouring out of PK`s UFO is thoroughly friendly and innocent, and it´s so strange, and I definitely cannot picture any western male director dreaming up any image like that.

Maybe wasn’t it so easy as to draw an approximate line through the Middle East where it lies, sandy and rocky on the Google Maps, and say: This here, left of here, is the world where women no longer is the second sex? Anyways! Bollywood superstar Aamir Khan is (also) brought up in a culture where the female voice isn’t the one people usually listen the most to. Nevertheless he uses his influence to fight his country’s variation of Repressive culture in an exemplary charming way in his talk show Satyamev Jayate. Again, at the same time, in the behind the scenes  – material of PK you can read, as in watch, his understandable second thoughts about being commanded around by Hirani`s firm female assistant director.

Playing PK, the alien who seems drunk (drunk: peekay: PK), would be potentially humiliating for any male actor, not only Indian ones, with their supposedly greater identification with a macho man identity. I think Khan is brave to take on this role. One can argue that he is so cute he could do anything without loosing credibility, but really, during the whole running time of PK, he has this more than odd (translated to Indian, I suspect: Hilarious) expression, or rather, grimace, glued to his face.

I get a feeling similar to when I watch mainstream directors punish their antagonists at the end of a movie: Not only are the badass caught and killed off, writers and directors see too that they also get humiliated first. Watching this I sense that the actual actors behind these villains maybe aren’t so altogether happy with what´s happening to their formerly so dark and powerful character, and to themselves, and I get this horrible, but also vaguely exiting feeling. When I was just a child, I watched my first (fictional) love, evil Lt. John Merrick, I mean Gabriel Byrne, hanged upside down in a rope in Norwegian movie Shipwreck (Nils Gaup 1990). Since then I have seen all too many dark dreamlike characters hanged, tickled and I don`t know what, screaming in fear before their own evil machinations blow them up. And the actors, they do not wear the screaming at all, and I doubt they enjoy it so very much. I don’t enjoy it neither. I would rather have madly laughing psychopaths take over the world than having nice actors humiliated like this!

At the same time, for me, this humiliation, and the ambivalence it awakens is truly fascinating, because these moments reveals something genuine and personal in the people onscreen. It reminds me of, when you watch amateur theatre, and the lack of professionality exposes the vulnerability in an actor. You catch a glimpse of the reality behind the role, and it evokes a feeling of closeness, of intimacy, that is pure and sensitive, not drawn and harsh like professionality eventually becomes in the end.

Anyway, Aamir Khan shows that he is willing to pay some of his masculine honour (I know, I put dangerous words together!) to support religious freedom, included the freedom not to be religious. To speak up for this is probably rather relevant and important where he is from, even if it´s not so here in Heathen Pine Forest where I live. Moreover, it’s more impressing than it would have been had a pine forest – dweller payed the same chunk of masculinity. As we do hear a lot of these days that some Indian men are severely attached to their pride.

See also: Lagaan: Once upon a time in India (Ashutosh Gowariker 2001)

Laagan was my first experience with Bollywood film, and it made a deep impression on me, at a point where I lived in a grey metropole and was particularly responsive to the setting in the draught and in the monsoon: The movie really talked to my need to become closer to the nature again, and it made me yearn to be more indian. I guess it was something in my blood that remembered the moors of Thule where some of my ancestors lived. Actually, this fun and beautiful movie will probably make any urban dweller, cool native ancestry or not, long to live as a really good looking farmer, dance in the rain with Aamir and be completely given over to the forces of nature. I still love this movie and play cricket.

Avoid: Om Shanti Om (Farah Khan 2007)

-Let´s learn Indian men how to not take no for an answer! This movie demonstrates the particular Bollywood attempt to keep the masses entertained and mindless.

John Childermass


Childermass knew the world. Childermass knew what games the children on street-corners are playing – games that all other grown-ups have long since forgotten. Childermass knew what old people by firesides are thinking of, though no one has asked them in years. Childermass knew what young men hear in the rattling of the drums and the tooting of the pipes that make them leave their homes and go to be soldiers – and he knew the half-eggcupful of glory and the barrelful of misery that await them. Childermass could look at a smart attorney in the street and tell you what he had in his coat-tail pockets. And all that Childermass knew made him smile; and some of what he knew made him laugh out loud; and none of what he knew wrung from him so much as a ha´pennyworth of pity.

From S. Clarkes novel Jonathan Strange & Mr Norell

Clarke has pointed out Childermass as her own favourite, and the one that will be her next lead character if she should decide to write us more stories from her, in a strange way historically accurate but by magic made transparent England.

Art by  Janosh Falk luciocrescent.deviantart.com